{"id":2304,"date":"2023-02-20T09:08:00","date_gmt":"2023-02-20T16:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/?p=2304"},"modified":"2023-10-16T14:16:48","modified_gmt":"2023-10-16T20:16:48","slug":"beyond-behavior-childrens-ministry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/beyond-behavior-childrens-ministry\/","title":{"rendered":"Moving Beyond the Behavior: Getting to the Heart in Your Children&#8217;s Ministry"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>What if we began looking beyond some behaviors in order to get to the heart? What if it was more about living the gospel than preaching it? What if we could show children just how much God loves them?<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap\">We all know that we want to raise kids with good character. There&#8217;s nothing wrong with that. However, when we only focus on the behavior, we miss out on what is actually taking place in a child&#8217;s life. It&#8217;s now more important than every to partner with parents as we all work to build faith in children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To move beyond behavior, let&#8217;s look at these 4 important questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Who am I?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Who is the child?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How is our community?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What is the change agent?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Who am I?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Let&#8217;s first look at a few Scripture passages on this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Everyone has sinned. No one measures up to God\u2019s glory.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/rom.3.23\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romans 3:23 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Don\u2019t do anything only to get ahead. Don\u2019t do it because you are proud. Instead, be humble. Value others more than yourselves.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/php.2.3\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Philippians 2:3 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>No matter where we are in life, it&#8217;s important we keep our hearts humble before God. We cannot know how to teach and fix everything that comes our way in life. Nor is it up to us. With that, we must remind ourselves to be aware with how we are with children in our care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Specifically when it comes to behavior, we should ask ourselves these questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What about the behavior being displayed bothers me? Is that a &#8216;me&#8217; problem?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Am I teaching in a way that children with different learning styles can learn?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do I have any biases in my heart that I need to fix?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are some healthy ways I emotionally regulate? Are there helpful things I can share with children who are showing signs of stress or anxiety in the class?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Why am I here? Why am I serving?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Who is the child?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wonder-filled-kaleidoscope-identity\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Identity<\/a> tends to drive behavior. For example, when a child feels safe and loved, they will share their thoughts and feelings. When they don&#8217;t, they won&#8217;t. As they are in the beginning stages of figuring out who they are, we get to have a big impact in their lives. We need to make sure it&#8217;s for the good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>How you made me is amazing and wonderful. I praise you for that. What you have done is wonderful. I know that very well.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/psa.139.14\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Psalm 139:14 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>As his children, we will receive all that he has for us. We will share what Christ receives. But we must share in his sufferings if we want to share in his glory.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/rom.8.17\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Romans 8:17 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>We get the special opportunity to model and share Christlike identity with children. To help them become more of who they were made to be, ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What does their behavior tell us about this child? Does it show me anything about the family structure, background, or social environments they are surrounded by?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Can I see the &#8216;why&#8217; of the behavior they are displaying? Is anything hidden? What triggered it? Am I understanding their thought process?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How old is this child? Is their reaction age-appropriate regarding their developmental stage? Am I expecting them to react in a way they are unable to?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are some things I can affirm about this child? How can I help them understand they are uniquely created as a child of God?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Am I looking for their effort? Are they giving their best even if the behavior hasn&#8217;t yet changed?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"section\" data-elementor-id=\"6836\" class=\"elementor elementor-6836\" data-elementor-post-type=\"elementor_library\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-44db1a4 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"44db1a4\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3fd2177\" data-id=\"3fd2177\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-44f2d06 elementor-widget__width-auto elementor-widget elementor-widget-button\" data-id=\"44f2d06\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"button.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-button-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<a class=\"elementor-button elementor-button-link elementor-size-xl\" href=\"https:\/\/app.wonderink.org\/?page=RegisterChurch&#038;_gl=1*1vf7quv*_gcl_au*MTg0ODQ5OTU5Ny4xNjg5Njk5NjI3*_ga*ODkwNTM3NjE0LjE2ODk2OTk2Mjg.*_ga_D2HKCMMJ9V*MTY5Njk2NTE2My41Ni4xLjE2OTY5NjUxODMuMC4wLjA.\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-content-wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-button-text\">Try for Free<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9dfdb8d elementor-widget__width-auto elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"9dfdb8d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<a href=\"https:\/\/app.wonderink.org\/?page=RegisterChurch&#038;_gl=1*1vf7quv*_gcl_au*MTg0ODQ5OTU5Ny4xNjg5Njk5NjI3*_ga*ODkwNTM3NjE0LjE2ODk2OTk2Mjg.*_ga_D2HKCMMJ9V*MTY5Njk2NTE2My41Ni4xLjE2OTY5NjUxODMuMC4wLjA.\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img data-opt-id=1573953086  data-opt-src=\"https:\/\/mlzai04amy7e.i.optimole.com\/w:auto\/h:auto\/q:80\/f:best\/https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/Wonder-Ink-logo.png\"   decoding=\"async\" width=\"2048\" height=\"311\" src=\"data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20100%%20100%%22%20width%3D%22100%%22%20height%3D%22100%%22%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%3E%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%%22%20height%3D%22100%%22%20fill%3D%22transparent%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-6197\" alt=\"\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-0955910 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"0955910\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"text-align: center; font-size: small;\">Wonder Ink\u2019s 3-year, 52-week children\u2019s ministry curriculum offers kids space to fully find their place in God\u2019s Big Story. Children discover they are Known by God, Loved by Jesus, and Led by the Holy Spirit.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img data-opt-id=1443304605  data-opt-src=\"https:\/\/mlzai04amy7e.i.optimole.com\/w:auto\/h:auto\/q:80\/f:best\/https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/GettyImages-1312197449-1.jpg\"  decoding=\"async\" src=\"data:image/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20viewBox%3D%220%200%20100%%20100%%22%20width%3D%22100%%22%20height%3D%22100%%22%20xmlns%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.w3.org%2F2000%2Fsvg%22%3E%3Crect%20width%3D%22100%%22%20height%3D%22100%%22%20fill%3D%22transparent%22%2F%3E%3C%2Fsvg%3E\" alt=\"Father and daughter having fun in backyard at home\" class=\"wp-image-3093\" style=\"width:838px;height:558px\" width=\"838\" height=\"558\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Credit: Getty Images\/DigitalVision\/The Good Brigade<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How is our community?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Our children&#8217;s ministries are about so much more than a Sunday service. We want kids to find community within a Jesus-loving safe place full of leaders and friends. We want them to look at the Church and see God&#8217;s love through His people and their relationships with Him and one another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>The&nbsp;Lord&nbsp;your God has directed me to teach you his commands, rules and laws. Obey them in the land you will take over when you go across the Jordan River.&nbsp;Then you, your children and their children after them will honor the&nbsp;Lord&nbsp;your God as long as you live. Obey all his rules and commands I\u2019m giving you. If you do, you will enjoy long life.&nbsp;Israel, listen to me. Make sure you obey me. Then things will go well with you. The number of your people will increase greatly in a land that has plenty of milk and honey. That\u2019s what the&nbsp;Lord, the God of your parents, promised you. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Israel, listen to me. The&nbsp;Lord&nbsp;is our God. The&nbsp;Lord&nbsp;is the one and only God.&nbsp;Love the&nbsp;Lord&nbsp;your God with all your heart and with all your soul. Love him with all your strength.&nbsp;The commandments I give you today must be in your hearts.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/DEU.6.NIRV\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Deuteronomy 6:1-6 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Check yourself in your community by asking:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>How can I partner with parents beyond the outward behavior their child shows?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>How am I dealing with outward behaviors in my own home?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are ways I can empower my church body to value kids for who they are versus what they do or have done? How can I empower them to express this to children? Even those who aren&#8217;t involved in my ministry?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Are there ways I can parter with the local schools regarding tools they use that I can adapt for my programming?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>If the behavior is beyond my expertise, is there an expert I can reach out to and partner with?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What is the change agent?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We all know that Jesus is the heart-changer. He is our redemption and savior. And it is by the grace of God through faith that we have the Holy Spirit. And His same Spirit convicts and dwells in each of our hearts when we follow Jesus. This is true for adults. This is true for kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Life transformation can begin in childhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I encourage you to read <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/1JN.2.NIRV\" target=\"_blank\">1 John 2<\/a> and remember that our behavior is a reflection of our hearts. Be reminded that we have access to so much in and through Jesus. He is a good God!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>But the Father will send the Friend in my name to help you. The Friend is the Holy Spirit. He will teach you all things. He will remind you of everything I have said to you.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/jhn.14.26\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">John 14:26 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>God, create a pure heart in me. Give me a new spirit that is faithful to you.<\/p>\n<cite><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/psa.51.10\" data-type=\"URL\" data-id=\"https:\/\/www.bible.com\/bible\/110\/psa.51.10\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Psalm 51:10 NIRV<\/a><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>As Christ followers, we have hope in the grace of Jesus. As we become more like Him, let&#8217;s continue looking at the heart of the matter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Have I spent time in prayer? Have I asked the Holy Spirit to lead? Am I listening to what He might want to accomplish? Am I <a href=\"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wonderfilled-worship-ministry\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">making space for Him to move<\/a>?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What is the end goal that I would like to see in this child? Is it to help him or her know, love, and follow Jesus? Or am I more concerned with something else?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Jesus cares so deeply about matters of the heart. And especially about matters of the heart in children. After all, He is the one who said to let them come. So, what if we began looking beyond some behaviors in order to get to the heart? What if it was more about living the gospel than preaching it? What if we could show children just how much God loves them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>This article originally appeared on&nbsp;<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"http:\/\/www.ministryspark.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Ministry Spark<\/a>.&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/ministryspark.com\/beyond-behavior-becoming-more-one-belong\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Read the full article here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Download&nbsp;<em>What If We\u2019re Failing Kids at Faith Formation? And How Not To<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/kids-faith-formation-guide\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">This faith formation guide<\/a>&nbsp;shares our desire to invite kids, parents, and volunteers into a Gospel-centered journey of curiosity, belief, faith, and identity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jesus cares so deeply about matters of the heart in children. After all, He is the one who said to let them come. So, what if we began doing the same?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2962,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"Moving Beyond Behavior in Children&#039;s Ministry - Wonder Ink","_seopress_titles_desc":"Jesus cares so deeply about matters of the heart in children. After all, He is the one who said to let them come. So, what if we began doing the same?","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":""},"blog_topic":[29,26],"blog_type":[13],"ppma_author":[37,22],"class_list":["post-2304","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","blog_topic-families","blog_topic-leadership","blog_type-blog"],"authors":[{"term_id":37,"user_id":0,"is_guest":1,"slug":"catherine-hwang","display_name":"Catherine Hwang","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/mlzai04amy7e.i.optimole.com\/w:auto\/h:auto\/q:80\/f:best\/https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/catherinehwangheadshot.png","url2x":"https:\/\/mlzai04amy7e.i.optimole.com\/w:auto\/h:auto\/q:80\/f:best\/https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/catherinehwangheadshot.png"},"author_category":"","user_url":"","last_name":"","first_name":"","job_title":"","description":"Catherine is an experienced and passionate Children\u2019s Pastor serving from small Asian-American church plants to big mega churches like Bayside Church. She loves to write, train &amp; speak to help raise up unicorn Kids Ministry leaders all over the world. You can probably catch her in California dancing to Kpop music, eating yummy food with her total opposite hubby Steve, and their 3 pampered girls and tiny dog Mookie Betts (#gododgers). "},{"term_id":22,"user_id":1,"is_guest":0,"slug":"wonder-ink","display_name":"The Wonder Ink Team","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/wonder-ink-favicon.svg","url2x":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/wonder-ink-favicon.svg"},"author_category":"","user_url":"https:\/\/wonderink.org","last_name":"Ink","first_name":"Wonder","job_title":"","description":"The Wonder Ink Team is made of ministry volunteers, leaders, and experts who work with David C Cook. We\u2019re passionate about equipping leaders as you empower volunteers, engage families, and inspire children on their journey of faith. Discover more about Wonder Ink children's ministry curriculum at WonderInk.org."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2304","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2304"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2304\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2304"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"blog_topic","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog_topic?post=2304"},{"taxonomy":"blog_type","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/blog_type?post=2304"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderink.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=2304"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}